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from Katherowen
1. There are no disabled people in the world--only those people who have felt the wrath of Achilles.

2. Since 1212 B.C.E., the year Achilles was born, spear-related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

3. If you ask Achilles what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he spears you in the face.

4. Achilles speared Hector in the soft, fleshy part of the neck so hard that his spear broke the speed of light, went forward in time, and killed Turnus while he was fighting Aeneas.

5. Achilles doesn’t read scrolls. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

6. Achilles lost his virginity before Peleus did.

7. Achilles does not have Apollo’s arrow-induced plague, but he gives it to the people anyway.

8. Achilles has recently changed his middle name to "Fucking."

9. When Achilles sends in his tribute to Agamemnon, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Achilles has not had to pay tribute ever.

10. Achilles always has sex on the first date. Always. The only time he didn’t was in 1150 B.C.E., otherwise known as the beginning of the Trojan War.

11. Achilles spends his Saturdays climbing Mount Ida, sacrificing hecatombs to Apollo, and meditating in the peaceful solitude of the Xanthus and the Scamander. Sundays are for oral sex, sneaking into the Bacchanalia, and Tequila.

12. There are two kinds of people in the Eastern Aegean: people who suck, and Achilles.

13. When Briseis burned the wild boar for Patroclus' funeral games, Achilles said, "Don't worry about it, honey," and went into the back of his tent. He came back five minutes later with a live wild boar, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When Briseis asked him how he had done it, he speared her in the face and said, "Never question Achilles."

14. At the end of each week, Achilles murders a dozen Myrmidons just to prove he isn’t a racist.

15. There is no Theogeny, just a list of gods Achilles allows to live.

16. When Achilles goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a spear and a krater.

17. Achilles once walked down the main street of Mycenae with a massive erection. There were no survivors. Hector, though, once walked down the main street of Troy to the Scaean Gate with a massive erection. No one noticed.

18. In an average woman’s quarters there are 1,242 objects Achilles could use to kill you, including the woman’s quarters itself.

19. Achilles has two speeds: 'swift-in-respect-to-his-feet' and 'kill'.

20. Achilles is the only man ever to defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

21. When Achilles was born, Eurycleia, Odysseus’ nurse, said, "Holy crap! That's Achilles!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third slave girl he had slept with.

22. Achilles can set Trojans on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

23. Achilles did in fact build Rome in a day.

24. Achilles destroyed the Table of the Four Elements. He only recognizes the Element of Surprise.

25. Achilles once went to a frat party and proceeded to spear every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he's Achilles.

26. When Achilles does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing Gaia down.

27. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Achilles instead decided to spear his way out of Thetis’ womb.

28. Teiresias' favorite color is Achilles.

29. Achilles once sunk a Trojan bireme with his finger by yelling: "Bang!"

30. Achilles once rode one of Helios' bulls. Nine months later it had a calf.

31. Contrary to popular belief, Achilles did in fact eat Hector.

32. Achilles can divide by zero.

33. Hector ate 50 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes. Achilles ate 12 Trojan babies in 50 and a half minutes. Achilles won. (See? He saw the error of his ways).

34. Achilles took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity," then you are dead wrong.

35. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Achilles, each testicle is larger than the other one.

36. Achilles does not believe in Troy.

37. Achilles can make Patroclus climax by simply pointing at him and saying: "Booya."

38. Achilles put the laughter in manslaughter

39. Achilles does not have hair on his testicles, because hair doesn't grow on solid bronze.

40. There were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Achilles lived in Phthia.

41. Broken herms are Achilles' way of telling the world that sometimes herms need to lie the fuck down.
9th-Dec-2006 12:42 pm - oh joy update time...
from Katherowen
I deleted my myspace because its just so damned invasive.

I don't think things are going so well...

with me emotionally, physically, scholastically, financially.

I am finding it hard to function and move on. I don't understand why this is so difficult, why I just can't get over it.

He's just a fucking man...


Who apprently I spoke to last night while incredibly intoxicated.
I think I may have begged. Not really sure.

And that pisses me off, because I thought I was much stronger than that.

I cut things off with the guy I'm dating now because I just wasn't digging it and I felt that as long as I band-aided myself with pseudo-dating that I wasn't giving myself the proper time to get over Brian. Turns out he was going through the same thing. So that turned out un-ugly.

Other than that, the semester is almost over. One more to go...

Grad Schools---

I'm going to wash up my first semester. I am so burnt out. I'm putting *real* grad school on the back burner (probably to never touch the pot again) and I'm staying at the Peay to get my Masters in Education.

Other than that one not so grand plan, I'm pretty fucking lost.

Party at DW's tonight, damn. I actually don't think I want to go.

My head hurts and I've already puked three times. I am soooo never drinking again.
13th-Aug-2006 02:23 am - I hate breakups
from Katherowen
I am finding it hard to describe how I feel, even to myself. I feel a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. I feel sad. I feel devastated. I feel concern for him. I hate him. I love him. I hate him some more. And then I just love him again. One day this will stop.

A part of me wants for him to call me up and say:

"Melinda, I love you. I made a terrible mistake."

But he isn't going to. I am not loved. I have been made a fool of for three years. He has lied to me, continuously about his ex. I blame her. I blame me. I blame him.

I blame him for making me think that he loved me, was in love with me.

I said today to Nikki something about our relationship was good. She has been there from the beginning and she has never met Brian. She stopped in the aisle and said something to the effect of, "Dude, it was never good. It was always ass, ass, ass, oh he did something nice, ass, ass, ass, ass, oh he loves me, ass."

Eh, she's right.

And then I got from dad, "He just didn't seem as into you as you were him." No, he wasn't but that lack of PDA was tempered by drunken snuggle sessions while I was sleeping or pretending to be asleep.

Oh and I also got the man translation of "I love you but I'm not in love with you" = in man terms, "the sex was good".

I do put alot of this on Autumn and his relationship with her. She has always been around. Always emailing, sending letters, calling. Keeping herself right in his peripheral. Around just enough to make him wonder. That bitch, and yes she knew what she was doing so she deserves that title right now, never let up. And that asshole always kept her on the edge. Willingly let her into our relationship. Always gave her an opportunity for contact. I, however, don't get even that. He has deleted his myspace, his livejournal. Anything he knows that I can reach him through. I'm sure he'll even change his email. Because when it comes down to it, I am not good enough (to him) to keep on the outskirts. This is a total break and I am slightly offended. Why couldn't he do that with her? It would have made our relationship alot smoother. If he can't let her go then he needs to be with her and stop being miserable.

I'm now in pissed off, angry mode. Tomorrow I'll be back to shattered sobbing mode. And this will alternate back and forth until I am done with it. I'm also pissed off because now I feel like I can't talk to his mother anymore. And I really like that woman. I do have to drop off an old toy of his that she gave me. No use for me hanging onto it, it belongs to his mother.

Um, what else can I bitch about?
Yeah I can't think of anything else other than I am grateful that I have such a large network of girlfriend support. Kudos to my friends. Even Jason who much like Erin is "honorary woman". He and his wife asked me if I wanted to go to the Blackhorse and grab a beer but I had to decline as I was with Nikki and April, who are just loads of fun anyway.

So my plan for the future is going to go something like this:

-Extend graduation by a semester. This will allow me to squeeze in more Latin and Greek as well as a full year of German. It will also enable me to apply for grad schools in the Fall which will enhance my chance of getting an assistantship.

-Move back into the non-traditional dorms on campus. Dad and Sharron deserve their privacy back. I am grateful for everything that they have done for me, now its time to do something for them and get my ass outta here.

-Now I can apply to wherever I want. Ohio State, U of Cincinnati, U of Kentucky, Georgia, Texas Austin, I can't think of any other programs at the moment that I covet.

Of course all of this will with me being ALONE without the person I thought was forever. Ass.Hat.

I'm sleepy and I haven't really slept for the past two days so I think I shall head for bed now. Sorry for chatting your ears off. Not that many people read this. And if you are reading this, asshat, then I hope you temporarily feel like crap. Only temporarily because no matter what I say, I don't hate you. No matter how much you want me to hate you, I don't. Because that's just not me. I'm "warm, open and loving" dammit.
25th-Jul-2006 02:39 pm - I never update on here anymore
from Katherowen
But it is time. I would rather write more personal stuff on here than Myspace where a bunch of people I barely know would read it. Sometimes, this stuff is just none of their business.

So life has hit me pretty hard today. It seems that when shit happens, it isn't just a little shit, its alot of shit.

I have no money, I am broke. I have a grand total of 3.75 in my bank account. I owe the school money for student health fees. I will owe the library $70 in a couple of weeks because of a book I cannot find anywhere. I really thought I turned it in.

I dropped my US Military History Class, it was boring and not worth it. Which also means I dropped my History major to a minor again. That's okay. I wasn't thrilled with taking a bunch of History classes next semester anyway.

In the mix off all the boringness of US Mil, I forgot about my Rennaissance and Reformation class, well I didn't forget about it, I just put it on the back burner because the research paper wasn't due until August 7th right? Wrong, that's the rewrite, the paper is due today. Holy freakin' shit. So now I have to turn that in late. I emailed the instructor and apologized. It was a mistake, an honest to God mistake. So now I feel like scholastic academic shit.

And, I'm housesitting this week for Jeri. She has two dogs (one of whom doesn't let me sleep). My dog Sabrina does not get along with these dogs or I would just take them to my house. Once again, my parents said they are going out of town and now I have to run back and forth this upcoming weekend between houses. It is frustrating because they have never had a problem taking the dog before, but they always want to leave her here when I am housesitting. I just don't get it, sometimes I think it is to make my life difficult. But that is silly, I'm not 16 and my parents aren't out to get me.

They got a new car. Woohoo. But kind of CRAP! too. They were going to give me the Escort for graduation in December. But they want me to take it now. I have no money to register it or to switch my insurance over at the moment. I also have to sell my other car, but I have no money to put an ad in the paper. No money until Sunday. I spent all my money on bills and coming back from Virginia.

It isn't like I piss my money away, because I really don't. I just don't have alot of it and when things happen I really feel it.

Tuesday I was wanting to pay for Shanna's tea in Franklin but I won't be able to which makes me feel kind of crappy. I thought it would be the least I would be able to do for her. I suppose just setting aside any money at all to do it will be good enough.

Then something bad happened when I was up at Brian's and now it has me completely paranoid and generally on guard. I think he is a twit for what happened and it pisses me off. I still love him but it'll take some time to forgive. Nothing too terribly bad, he didn't hit me or sleep with strangers or anything. However, that might have been a little easier to forgive and get over.

Oh, and I did something to my foot and now I can't run. So I feel crappy that I am at a stopping place in my training and I feel disappointed for being a slug.

I miss Brian, I wish he were here (even though he's still on my shit list). I don't mean to whine, I just feel so vulnerable. I hate this feeling, I hate relying on people. I just want to finish up with school, get my MAT and just teach. I have lost most of my motivation for bigger and grander things. Life is running by me at the speed of sound and I'm ready to catch up. I'm tired of being away from Brian, its taking its toll on us and its almost too much.

Sorry for any misspellings or grammar fuck ups.
8th-May-2006 12:13 pm - Bliss is a wonderful thing
from Katherowen
I had a fantastic weekend. The wedding was lovely. I cried at the rehersal, when Shanna walked down the aisle, and some during the vows. I'm a doof. But it is acceptable because the woman is like a sister I never had. She even gives me CLOTHES. Which fit awesomely by the way.

Brian was in rare form. I enjoyed seeing him most of all. And even though the wedding was special and I felt honored to be in it, my favorite part of the visit was the time I spent with Brian. I am tired of being apart. Boo.

My grades are all posted. I made three B's and four A's. I should have made five A's but I'm not going to complain over something I can't fix. Boo again.

Okay enough for now, I must work some. And study for the GRE which I have to take next month.
3rd-May-2006 09:31 am - Its gonna be a slaughter
from Katherowen
I have my Greek 1020 exam in an hour. It isn't going to be pretty. So far though, I think I have an A in the class, so when I bomb the exam, and I will bomb the exam, I'll have a B (hopefully) for the semester.

GRRRRRRRR

On the upside. Brian is here, alseep in my bed. I have gushy feelings in my tummy unrelated to gas or anything. I love my boyfriend.
28th-Apr-2006 01:16 pm - I'm a silly silly girl
from Katherowen
Hahaha

I got confirmed this morning. Great and Wonderful. I picked my patron Saint and stuff. They actually called me by the saints name. I did not know they would do that.

I chose Gregory the Great.

Gregory, do you renounce Satan?
Gregory, blah blah blah?

I was like, dude, he's calling me Gregory.

So, there you have it folks, my Catholic name is Gregory.

:D
26th-Apr-2006 04:00 pm - Oh man!
from Katherowen
So check this out.

I turned in my Greek Religion paper three days late. I made an 85...with 15 points subtracted for lateness.

Shit.

Got a B+ on my MA paper, he said I didn't use any sources after 1973 which is crap because I had journal articles from the 90's. If he wants newer books then the history department needs to order some for the library.
25th-Apr-2006 12:09 pm(no subject)
from Katherowen
My mother drives me nuts.
I feel like she's my child.
19th-Apr-2006 05:53 pm(no subject)
from Katherowen
I don't know what is wrong with me lately. I just feel so, so blah. I'm having a hard time concentrating and doing what needs to be done in an orderly fashion. It is driving me nuts. I think perhaps that it is just end of year jitters. School is almost over. The end is in sight, for both the semester and my graduation in December. I have a date and a time. Woohoo. Now I just have to get through these finals, and one more semester.

I am currently finishing up a paper that I'm going to get five points off because it is late. I don't know why I did this, I never turn in papers late. I changed my topic and it threw me off. So I'll wrap it up tonight and email it and turn in a hard copy on Friday. I deserve it if I sacrificed my A because of my ill-preparedness.

My back is sunburned too. It stings like a biotch.

Hope all is going well with everyone.
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